It might have happened to you. That moment you become a little fearful, yet somewhat flattered, of someone who is obsessing over you. He or she may show up uninvited or constantly text/call/e-mail you even though you provide little to no response. You don’t have the heart to tell him or her to leave you alone, or maybe you do but he or she mistook your straight-forwardness for playing hard-to-get.
Keep on reading for ways to ward off a hardcore crush and learn how to be crushed on!
It’s wonderful, isn’t it? Oh admit it – you love being fawned over and adored. The little, kind-of-creepy, unrequited love letters that get mysteriously delivered to you might be weird but you secretly think it’s still romantic. Eventually you get to a point where enough’s enough and you’re actually starting to fear that your little friend is collecting your loose strands of hair for the shrine they’ve built in their closet or that they’re plotting to kidnap you….
Perhaps you’re reading this and you feel a little sad and unfulfilled because you’ve never experienced being on the opposite end of having a serious crush, and now you’re beginning to wonder why you are not so irresistibly desirable.
The good news is if you are experiencing either one of the two scenarios above, I have just the solution for you!
Solution 1: To get rid of your stalker
1. Go incognito. All black everything and don’t forget the shades and hat. A Eugenia Kim leather baseball cap and Ray-Ban sunglasses will do the trick.
2. Change your routine in case your stalker has your current one memorized.
3. Be ready to run. If you see them heading your way be ready to sprint in the opposite direction. Don’t forget your Superga sneakers.
4. Tell them to leave you alone and that they have no chance. Ever. It’s the easiest, most logical and boring solution.
5. If number 4 didn’t work then you might actually need a restraining order. Lock your doors.
Solution 2: To get someone to obsess over you
1. Be confident. If you don’t act like you’re the best thing since shapewear then whose going to want to treat you like you are? Show off your confidence in red with a Feel The Piece V Neck Maxi Dress in Valentino.
2. Smile and be outgoing. You have to meet people because apparently none of the ones you know are interested in crushing on you.
3. Post a lot on Twitter, Facebook, etc. you use so people can easily figure out your daily schedule and interests.
4. Don’t be eager. If you seem too available people will lose interest.
5. Always look like you’re having fun. People gravitate towards people who are the life of the party. Nothing says party like sequins. Try the Haute Hippie Junk Sequin Tank in Buff.
If you read this and you feel like none of this applies to you, that probably means you’re the stalker/obsessed one. Don’t feel bad though! With all the social media making everyone’s personal information and ideas so easy to access, we’re all guilty of some degree of stalking. No shame.
Yours truly,
Afaf
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